Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Catching Up With the Kardashians

Each season, millions of viewers grab their phone and scramble to the television to catch the next Kardashian break up as they religiously Tweet the action. I am not one of them. To sum my relationship with this hit E! reality phenomenon, I guess you could say that I am a Kardashian dummy. I barely know the names of any of them let alone whom they date or marry. There is not a single episode that I have fully viewed. Why? Well, that is a great question. I do know that there are other dummies like me. So, in order to get all of us up-to-par on the popular show, I have gathered the scoop on this family and their shenanigans, so you won't be out of the loop when your friends start raving over the drama.

The Back Story

This will be quick and painless so hang on tight.

Rich Robert Kardashian meets not so rich Kris Houghton and they marry in 1978. During their 12 years of marriage they have 4 kids ( Kourtney, Kim, Khloe, Rob) and Kris allegedly has mad affairs including the one with Bruce Jenner, Olympian cool guy, in 1990. And, yes he was on a Wheaties box.

Robert finds out about Bruce, develops anger issues, and files for divorce. After a nasty little tiff over money the papers are signed and not a month later Kris and Bruce are hitched.  Jenner comes into the family with 4 children of his own ( Burt, Brody, Brandon, Casey) which were conceived by 2 former wives.

Great, now I have that Brady Bunch song stuck in my head! Anyway...

Kris and Bruce ended up spitting out 2 more babies together ( Kendell and Kylie). Kris becomes an author and socialite in that time and they build a huge family empire. Robert moves on to defend O.J. on the "Dream Team" in 1995, remarries, and sadly passes in 2003 from cancer of the esophagus.

Update: As of the month of late 2013, Kris and Bruce have split. I am not sure how long that will last.

I am now thinking they should have started this show long before 2007, but there has been plenty of drama to make up for lost...um...drama.

Now for the Complicated Part: The Kids


The oldest of Kris' children, she is a college graduate, fashion designer gone socialite and business woman. In 2004, she starred in the show Filthy Rich, Cattle Drive for charity and has appeared in all of the family's reality shows. She has 2 children with long time BF Scott Disick. One of which was which was used to pull Kourtney into a scandalous paternity battle that ended up to be only gossip.  According to hear-say the couple is totally "not interested" in tying the knot at this time.


Kim is the second Kardashian kid and arguably promiscuous. As a teen in 2000, she eloped with 30 year old producer Damon Thomas. Then dated and did some dirty deeds on tape with Ray J (Brandi's little Brother) in 2003, but did not get divorced until 2004 which was due to the alleged abuse from her hubby. This was her first reality show. I'm kidding. After the taped was revealed in 2007, Keeping Up With the Kardashians debuted. Luckily The case of the amateur porno was settled out of court for a whopping 5 million bucks.

She since has posed for Playboy, starred in a movie (Disaster Movie and true to its name), was the producer of another reality show, appeared on various sitcoms, and was a contestant on Dancing With the Stars. She and her sisters also came out with a sunless tanning product, among other small projects and was involved in a law suit here and there. Has dated about a variety of known stars and athletes since 2007 including the 72 day marriage to NBA cutie, Kris Humphries. She is now  Kanye West and they have one child.


The third Kardashian kid is an actress, fashion designer, and in many business ventures such as teeth whitening products, family jewelry line, and clothing lines. Khloe also has her own radio show called "Mix it Up With Khloe Kardashian Odem". Arrested in 2007for a DUI,  She was ordered 30 days jail time and alcohol treatment. Due to the horrendous overcrowding of the local jail, she was released in 3 hours that same day. She was sued in 2009 for assaulting a transsexual and was involved in a marketing suit with sister Kim. She wed NBA athlete jock Lamar Odem in 2009. They are still together and have no children.


Robert Junior is the last of Kris' original bunch. He is a business graduate and known executive , model and, of course, a television personality. He has dated a few actresses, some of which appeared with him on Keeping Up With the Kardashians (Adrienne Bailon). He also has SERIOUS organizational skills or OCD issues, you decide. Also Rob was a contestant on Dancing With the Stars. He was also involved in a scuffle with the paparazzi. He was charged with assault and battery among some other small charges that were thrown into the mix. He and the plaintiff has since, settled out on the case and the charges have been dropped.

Kendell and Kylie Jenner

These two youngsters have appeared, of course on the family sitcoms and have walked the runway for clothing lines such as Hello Kitty, Avril Levine, and designers like Sherri Hill. They have been featured in Teen Vogue, Ok!, and Seventeen. The Kardashian legacy has definitely rubbed of on the Jenner teens. They have their own official website, and even hosted red carpet events together.

Comment your opinion on the Kardashian bunch below!

 Keeping Up With the Kardashians airs Sundays at 9pm on E!

For more information on the family visit www.eonline.com.


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